My article written in February, “Budapest – the City of Temptations” , caused a little bit of drama. There were some people who tried to associate themselves with the post and they were not really pleased with the ugly truth, while others just loved it and stated that I made a really good point. Almost 6 months ago, I accused Budapest of being a lustful city, where morals did not exist. It was quite easy to treat Budapest as a scapegoat but I’m not sure that it wasn’t the right approach. In retrospect, I’d say it is not always the city which should be blamed, but rather us – people who can’t decide what they want to do with their lives and who they want to share it with.
Budapest, as any other capital city, attracts more and more people each year. Those who made fun of Hungary, calling it the “poor country of the East”, nowadays seem to be very comfortable when coming here for longer or shorter periods. Years of living in Budapest proved that there have been no ‘new or unique scenarios’ which could happen when it comes to relationships between men and women. I have already witnessed a lot and even if I wished to say that nothing else could happen really wouldn’t surprise me here. I would rather think, that many more things could still happen and in the weirdest configuration – the configuration you could only imagine in your wildest dreams.
Types of Budapest Hook Ups
In your life you will be meeting or you have already met different types of people: the ones who are rather shy and prefer to stay away from the spotlight, the ones who would love to shine like stars, some free thinkers who follow their own rules and the ones who would love to try new things but something holds them back. I am pretty sure I have already manged to meet all sort of characters in this city so far and the fact that we have an international crowd, makes the hook ups more intense and more interesting.
Shine Bright Like a Diamond
Let’s take into consideration people who are ‘glory hogs’ and do everything to be in the spotlight. I usually have a feeling that such people do not have much to hide, they are not mysterious, not really innocent and they are pretty much ready to hook up with anyone who gives them some attention. It’s quite amusing to see the whole procedure of it. First, the big statement such as, “there is a big chemistry between us”, however in many cases a glory hog is simply used by men/women who were trying to repair their already broken hearts or proved to themselves, that they were not such losers and could get any woman/man they desired (the case for people who were recently dumped by their loved one). After an easy hook up, there will be a short phase of sweet text messages, which gives them a false feeling to the glory hog, that this short term partner really cared about her/him. In a few weeks everything goes back to normal and usually it will be the end of the affair. Not sure what exactly causes ‘glory hog’ behaviour, but maybe it is the lack of getting proper attention during their childhood, or some insecurities or maybe sexual dissatisfaction.
Keeping it in the Crew
Surely some of you have faced the situation when people in your friendship circle have hooked up, putting other friends (including you) in quite a difficult situation. In case of any conflict between a freshly hooked up couple, you could have problem to decide on which side you wish to be, or should be (the ideal situation would be to stay out of their shit). Also, some of the hooks up between people from the same friendship circle could be just the result of being bored by one of the partners, who would like the same way to manifest that he/she is able to mark his/her territory whenever he/she wants. This type of behaviour is more common among women than men. We all know that these women mostly take care of their appearance to make another woman jealous – the man is just in the middle of this intrigue, without even knowing about it.
The Dreamers and Imagined Experimenters
In Budapest the hook ups are not just in the friendship circle nor are they only reduced to glory hogs, but we have another interesting group of people who seem to be really funny and open – but not too open for experiencing more complex men/woman situations. Those are definitely people who project in their minds different type of situations, which could potentially occur (I would say they fantasize about them) but in the reality they don’t do shit to make these (kinky) scenarios happen. On one side, they would like to try new things and put themselves in risky/dangerous situations (by dangerous I mean to have sex/affairs with someone they like in a sort of way, but the circumstances are not the best at the given time) but in their mind they are too afraid that they will be judged by the rest of their friends and the potential partner as well. I believe those people are usually judging other friends/random people by their actions and in the end, they imagine in their heads that they will be judged as well by their own friends. It’s really interesting to observe the behaviour of those people. They have a tendency to balance on the edge of friendship/romance but once they are up against the wall, they simply run away. Constant pressure from the society and the norms they used to follow, block them to fully and fiercely enjoy their lives. I strongly believe that these types of people have quite curly imaginations and once they finally dare to hook up, they can be quite wild and insatiable. You would think that the group where ‘glory hogs’ belong to, could be characterized by such behaviour, but the truth is that, for ‘glory hogs’ is rather easy to have one a night stand/short affair, because they do not have many problems with manifesting their sexual needs. While the other group – let’s call them ‘dreamers’, who live constantly under pressure of the society (imaginary pressure, created by them), become a bit oversexed. It could be due to the simple fact, that they don’t know when they will have the courage again to have a one night stand/affair with a different partner, so they try to live to the fullest at this given time. This group is strongly connected to another one, which both include undecided people. In a way, those people want something from a man/woman but they don’t know what exactly that could be. They have a tendency to pop up during random occasions, but at the same time they can disappear very fast, without any explanation. They kind of mark their presence and make someone’s mind curious, but at the end of the day they will simply vanish. I guess those people could be afraid of stepping into new relationships due to bad experiences which they had in the past. On the other hand, they might be simply not sure what and who they really want. They are not able to make a decision and they naively believe that with time everything will come back on the right track.
Free Your Mind
In our lovely city we also have the group of ‘free thinkers’. Somewhere deep inside, they dream to have a family but they praise their freedom too much to be able to commit their time to one particular person. From time to time they hook up with some interesting man/woman, who rather comes easily their way but at the same time, in the back of their heads, they already think about someone else, who marked his /her presence in the past, but was too hard to be caught. Those are usually friendly people who could offer you not only sexual adventure but also friendship, whatever works in that particular situation and time. Due to their friendly nature, they have a tendency to keep a few potential romances at the same time. Whichever would work, they will process further.
Finally, we have the group of people in Budapest who simply want to find a good partner – someone who could become their potential wife/husband. Many times they fully commit their time and energy to someone who in the reality might not be the best choice, but seem to be the only reasonable one in this crazy city. There will be fights and sweet come backs, mixed with a bit of drama. There will be also people who stay in relationships where the passion is over but they are too afraid to look outside and see what else is there. To be in a relationship without clear perspectives or when the passion and sexual energy is rather gone, is one of the worst type of scenarios. This does not let them move forward, as something still holds them to their current partners and also make it difficult to restore the passion and mutual interest, as none seems to care anymore. But let’s not forget about the group of people who could successfully managed to move from the hook up phase to the relationship, and later to marriage. What was the success behind it? I think that the key was, to be in the right place at the right time. Magic happens from time to time.
Most probably you can meet mentioned groups all around the world, however Budapest is one of those specific cites, where getting to know such people come really easy. You can feel in this city a sort of freedom, which push you to put aside your common sense and follow your instincts.
Have you ever belonged to any of the mentioned groups? What’s your experience? Shall we blame Budapest for being such an open city? Do share your comments/thoughts or anything which comes to your mind regarding this topic. I am curious us usual.