I have been adding a lot of sugar to Budapest recently. Fancy restaurants, good electronic scene, spas, beautiful nature, million spots to hang out and socialize with others and breath taking architecture. That’s how you can describe Budapest being a tourist. However, this city has its hidden agenda, which can rather be seen by those who deal with this city on a daily basis.
If you arrive to this city as a single man or a single woman, shortly after, you start feeling like a kid in a candy shop. A lot of flavors wrapped beautifully, almost screaming to you to be taken. You realize that your choice is pretty much unlimited. You choose as many as possible, who knows if you will ever return to this shop? When you are going home, you can not decide which pack you should open first, so you open few of them at the same time – just to taste. Some of them taste wonderful, some of them are so so, but the whole point is – they all contain sugar – and this can be pretty addictive. Now, we all know what are the side effects of eating too much candies – you feel the pleasure for a while but you can not really satisfy your hunger and after eating a lot of them, what you get in the end is a simple stomachache.
Coming back to the point, as a person with pretty inquisitive nature I tend to be at various places during my whole life. From super underground and dodgy ones to the poshest parties you can imagine. The reason why I ended up in underground places with electronic music is the vibe created by the crowd and a sort of feeling of freedom from such type of music. The reason why I can be spotted from time to tome during posh parties is my curiosity. I usually sit and observe. What is my conclusion after 5 years of being in Budapest and hanging around various places where money is rather visible?. The conclusion is pretty simple:
Budapest is the city of temptations
A lot of expats who came from wealthier countries many years ago and were successful to establish some business here, are now enjoying their fruit – not always with the positive attitude. Its a pretty common view to see an older men here with their a bit too skinny fit suits and ultra polished shoes buying an expensive drinks and making sure their latest watches are visible on their wrists. They are the hunters but in this city they do not need to try too hard. There are already a lot of girls around them, ready to do whatever they will be told. Money and power always attract a lot of women especially from this part of Europe, where from the generations, they have been used to have a patriarchate model of family in their own houses. Seeing those girls is a bit pathetic. They are taking the most fancy clothes from their wardrobes, many of them don’t even have a good figure, but the smaller size of their dress does not really matter because the appropriate length covering their butts is there. Enormous high heel shoes is another must have part of their outfit for this type of party. You should always pay attention to their make up – its like few good layers of powder, long lashes and tons of blush on their cheeks. Their lips needs to look big – we all know what is the connotation. I am always wondering how does men feel next morning, when he is waking up next to this type of girl, and all he sees is not the freshest make up or event worse – no make up! Can he still recognize her?
A man with money and looks (sometimes look is not even required – just the account statement has to be satisfactory) feels like a God in this city. He literally thinks, he can buy everything and everyone – which in many cases could not be done in his own wealthier country. Sometimes I have the feeling that those guys treat Budapest like a scapegoat – all type of frustration, the maniacal urge to have all sort of power, and sick ego can be easily expressed here – they have money – they can rule the city. Unfortunately woman here (not only Hungarians but also foreigners) allow such behaviour. Their availability is so obvious that some of the guys don’t need to make even the smallest effort to have a one night stand with a particular woman. They just come up to her and take what they thing is theirs. But watch out, there is a group of girls with the innocent faces who shake their tiny asses next to the chosen guy with such a grace that the moment he dares to approach such an angel, he immediately gets one big slap. This little angel after making sure of turning on this idiot, usually said with her innocent face that this was not what she meant and immediately disappeared (but she managed to successfully mark her territory).
Worth to mention, that many of those girls who come to such parties (but there can also be any other places in Budapest) are usually educated, and make their own money. So it’s not always the case that they have been living in deep poverty and now they need to find a rich guy and immediately become his wife. What could be the other motive then? Maybe this city make them to be like this? Easy access to everything, lack of common respect and morals might make them think – what else is there to loose? The chances for real love are gone anyways, why not to have fun then?
There is the other side of the coin as well. Few months ago, I had a pretty extensive conversation with a very decent men, who although did not live in this city, shared his thoughts and concerns on the similar topic. He mentioned that if he would have a wife and kids, most probably he would move back to his hometown (in his country of origin) as in the place he lived right now (city similar to Budapest) there were too many temptations. I was a bit shocked to hear such statement because that made me realized, that even the most decent human can have some internal struggle and desperately try to find the answer on how to live in a monogamist relationship for another 30 years, especially if the modern world offers you so many attractions? I suggested him to move to a lonely island, as even if he would have moved to this small town where he was born, there might be already some new, hot neighbor (woman) and his miserable plan to keep family together might not work either way.
Here I come to another point of my observation. If we still compare Budapest to a candy shop with million candies in our reach, we realize that we just have a little problem, if we enter this shop as a single person. Our only dilemma is which candy to choose to satisfy all our needs. Things become more complicated when we are in a serious relationship and we still want to try a candy but the real drama pops up when we enter this store being married.
To my misfortune, I saw married couples in Budapest who had a perfect family with beautiful kids, house and money, which reminded me those famous American commercial of breakfast cereals, however there was something which told me that under this perfect image there is a second bottom with all this dirt, misery and internal fight. Most of those people were on the edge of line and that was just the matter of time when they were going to cross it. The question comes back again. Are we able to live with a single partner in a monogamist relationship for another 30 years without crossing this line? Is this still possible in the modern world, and in city like Budapest?
All in all I can say, that my recent experiences taught me to never judge a book by its cover. People who I considered as a serial fuckers appeared to be very hard working humans and people who I thought were decent and full of morals became the one who did not play fair.
Do you think that there is a possibility to have a healthy relationship in such a lustful city like Budapest?
Do share your comments.