I recently had a discussion with a man from South Asia who claimed that European women won’t date men like him because of their skin color. Honestly, I’ve never heard this from any woman I know (maybe one exception). Skin color is rarely the obstacle; more often, it’s cultural differences or simply a lack of attraction. What’s worse is how some men assume that if they have some money and are ready to commit, a woman should immediately say yes. They forget that women value physical attraction just as much as commitment.
While many like to say “it’s what’s on the inside that matters,” and of course it does, we cannot ignore that women invest a lot of money and effort into their appearance. And since I love plain facts and business, I did some research on how much it costs to look good and fit in a city like Madrid. Women commonly spend thousands of euros each year on:
Facials and skin treatments (€300–€600)
Botox for a couple of areas (€350–€700)
Haircuts and coloring (€300–€540)
Nails (€300–€480)
Gym memberships (€360–€840)
Wardrobe updates (€800–€1,500)
This easily adds up to €4,000–€5,000 annually, before even factoring in makeup, laser hair removal, or premium fitness classes.
On top of the financial investment, a woman is expected to be educated and have a career so she isn’t labeled a “gold digger.” Any visible sign of aging or neglect is often viewed negatively, as if her value is fading. Unfortunately, we live in a social media era, and some have made people believe women should always look like they’re 21.
Yet the same effort isn’t always expected from men — at least not in their minds. The man I spoke with had teeth that weren’t straight and generally looked uncared for. Orthodontic work isn’t cheap, but it’s far more affordable than the constant globe-trotting he seemed to enjoy. Then there’s clothing: a man in his mid-40s is expected to have a wardrobe beyond sweatshirts and jeans. Many men may pay for dinners or holidays early on, but occasional generosity isn’t the same as long-term self-investment. One is situational. The other is structural.
There’s a saying that only about 20% of men are truly desirable to women, leaving the rest in the “good luck” category. I’m not here to tell the top 20% what to do, their only headache is choosing from too many options. But for the remaining 80%, there’s something to learn, and that’s where I come in.
And don’t get me wrong, my website is not, and never was, some man-hating space. On the contrary, I’ve written a lot about male fashion to help men dress better, because the right clothes can boost confidence and even improve career opportunities.
Now, with all this talk about “crying men,” “why women don’t want them,” or “women like bad boys,” I’m writing this article for two reasons: first, I don’t like double standards; second, I want to open men’s eyes and explain why attraction is often missing — and why stubbornness is usually their biggest obstacle. And because I’m a woman — and we women talk (a lot!), I can tell you straight away why things often don’t work.
Here’s one advantage men have over women: no makeup required. Society expects them to look like men — raw and natural. If a woman is attracted, she experiences it directly, not filtered through contour, lashes, high heels, and extensions. So what does a man need to do to look presentable? Simple:
Hit the gym three times a week
Maintain a balanced diet
Quit excessive smoking and drinking
Fix your teeth
And for God’s sake, update your wardrobe
Depending on body type and height, brands like Zara, Mango Man, COS, or Levis offer accessible options that can transform your look in 10 minutes. The safest choices are polished yet minimal, like the Madrid-deathless Cayetano men. Good hair is non-negotiable (still way cheaper than for women), and teeth are a must. A good bracelet can be a life-long investment, or a professional whitening session (around €250) works wonders once a year.
So, if you’re a man ready to take this seriously, I’ve put together some mood boards with ready-to-date looks — practical, sharp, and under €100.
If you’re still unsure how to mix and match your clothes, you can always book a one-on-one session with me—either online or in person. And if you’re based in Madrid, you can also book a fashion tour. Whatever works for you!
Ladies, does this hit the mark? And men, which part makes you think, ‘Okay, I could do better’? I’m always curious to hear your take.
