I’ve been around a lot of women in their mid-forties and late forties over the past few months, some divorced or single, looking for a partner. In many of these conversations, age came up constantly, as if getting older meant losing the chance to meet someone significant. Some of my former clients, in their early fifties, told me they were sad their youth was gone. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of sadness about women getting older, despite living in what we call a modern society. This is exactly why I keep coming back to the idea that you should dress for your body, not your age.
In my opinion, social media has done a lot of harm to women’s self-perception, especially apps like Instagram, which I am forever grateful I left two years ago, with no plans to ever return. There’s also the fact that fashion brands, Instagram, and TikTok constantly show super young girls presenting the hottest trends, changing outfits every five minutes, showing an intense skincare routine, since they have a long line-up of cosmetic brands begging for promotion, which looks almost pathetic considering the age of these girls, and common sense tells us plenty of those products aren’t even meant for their age. Seeing that same volume of product use over and over, you start to feel like a woman is supposed to spend all day taking care of herself. The question is: where is the time to simply enjoy life, with friends, family, exciting hobbies? Social media keeps persuading us to constantly invest in ourselves, to keep buying, and then makes us feel unmarketable anyway, because the clock is ticking and we’re getting older every day.
Here’s the funny part fashion brands seem to forget while engaging super young influencers to promote their clothes: women in their forties and fifties are actually the ones with the money to spend on clothes, cosmetics, and everything else, and yet they’re often left out of the conversation entirely, because according to social media standards, they’re “too old.”
Recently I talked with some women in their later forties. One was divorced, had money, dressed well but not great, and complained about dating. The other was also single, had an older kid, extremely put-together, good clothes, and she too complained she couldn’t find a partner and said she wanted someone younger. The common thing between them: none of them were unattractive, none of them looked bad. What they were missing was youthful energy, fun, excitement, charisma.
Now, because I hear these complaints often, and I know it’s rarely bad nature behind them, just the simple fear of being judged or not chosen, I also know that a few styling tips can boost confidence almost immediately. But here’s the thing: it will always be your charisma and charm that attract people toward you, no matter what you wear. Since I’m not a psychologist, a dating coach, or anything of the sort, today I’ll focus on closets that aren’t age-appropriate but body-appropriate, and show you a few easy tricks to help you feel younger and more confident.
Forget the heavy, structured blazer. In my opinion, that’s what ages a woman, not the years themselves. A stiff, boxy jacket doesn’t say put together, it says armor. What actually gives a woman in her forties or fifties charm and youthfulness is movement. Flowy fabric, soft color, something that moves when you walk. This is what I mean when I say dress for your body, not your age.
That doesn’t mean no structure at all. A little structure keeps you looking pulled together, not sloppy. The trick is where you put it. One structured piece, a good coat, a great pair of trousers, is enough. Everything else can breathe. If you’ve read my piece on work wardrobes, this is the same idea applied outside the office.
Color near the face draws the eye there first, which is why I always push clients toward some color at the neckline, even if the rest of the outfit stays simple. A woman in only black and grey often disappears a bit, that’s just my honest opinion from years of doing this.
And then there’s everything past the clothes, because that’s where charm actually lives. Do something with your hair, even something small. Wear earrings someone would actually notice. A bigger ring says more than a whole outfit sometimes. A great scarf, thrown on without overthinking it, does the same thing.
If you want a place to start, here are a few stores I actually recommend for this kind of dressing, movement, color, and quality without the stiffness:
This has nothing to do with age-appropriate dressing the way most people mean it, smaller, safer, quieter as you get older. It’s body-appropriate dressing: your body, your energy, your version of put together, right now. If you want help figuring out what that looks like on you, that’s exactly what I do as a personal stylist in Madrid, in a real personal styling session. Message me on WhatsApp or explore my Personal Styling Services, and let’s build a closet that makes you feel like yourself again, not older.
